Okay, me neither.
But remember when Monopoly was a game that had money? Colored money that meant you could potentially buy Park Place and Boardwalk?
Well, last night I was horrified to see a commercial for this new Monopoly game with an electronic bank.
Naturally, I had to look into this as Monopoly was a huge part of my childhood. (And apparently Ridley Scott's too. Last year he announced that he will be directing a comedy-thriller based on the game.)
They say you can "wheel and deal your way to a fortune even faster using debit cards instead of cash."
What?!
Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose? Wasn't half the fun counting you money and separating the colors and fighting over who got to be the dog or the car and who'd be stuck as the lame-ass thimble?
Yeah, well that's gone too. They've updated the game pieces to be a Segway personal transporter, an Altoids tin, a space shuttle, a flat-screen TV, a baseball cap and a dog in a handbag.
And I must be out of the Monopoly loop to begin with because when I was trying to find a plain old Monopoly photo to use I stumbled across about 50 different Monopoly games on amazon.com.
Did you know there's NBA Monopoly? Elvis Monopoly? Star Wars Monopoly? Family Guy Monopoly? New York Yankees Monopoly? Lord Of The Rings Monopoly? Cat Lovers Monopoly? I mean...really?
That's all fine, I suppose. A monolopoly for your every whim. But debit cards? Are we in that much of a hurry that we can't even count our amber, pink, and baby blue money?
Sad.
Sad, sad, sad.
And they won't get me to play that way. I will always play old school Monopoly, I will always be the dog, and I will take you on anytime.
Bring it.
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